Happy Holidays for Everyone!
We know holidays can look different for our families. Here are three pointers we have found that help to reduce the friction when extended family is around, routines are disrupted, and chaos abounds.
- Communicate you and your family’s needs ahead of time. For some, this can look like education to an involved and caring grandparent, with a focus on skills being worked on and known triggers. For others, this can be an exercise in boundary setting, pushing back on relatives’ expectations. Overall, you know what is best for your family.
- Visual schedules can be really helpful for new and temporary routines. This does not have to be a print out, or laminated, or anything fancy. Grab a whiteboard and a dry erase marker and involve your child in the process – giving them small choices will help them feel more in control and reduce their anxiety, too! My mother in law noted once that she could see my daughter’s shoulders relax as we put the plan onto the whiteboard and she knew what to expect as we planned out the Thanksgiving holiday.
- Choose something to do that takes absolutely zero effort. Whether it’s movie night, taking a hot bath after the kids go to bed, or as simple as drinking a cup of coffee while it’s still hot – find the path of least resistance, and feel no guilt in enjoying this time.
We know that no matter how much prep is done, there could still be hard or tense moments, other relatives might still make mistakes or not respect boundaries, and mom and dad might not have time to print out a visual schedule complete with graphics that matches what grandma plans to do. Let’s normalize that you cannot take full responsibility for the outcome of every single thing. We are all human and we are doing our best.
Cheers to recognizing our limits and letting go of expectations of perfect holiday magic.
We are in this together, friends.
